Welcome. To planet social media: where friendships are formed off the backs of likes and flattery laced with shade. Where girls with no paid jobs live jet set lives while hash-tagging #BossLady, and there’s the ‘steal your girl’ hunk, all decked in sharp suits, heading out on a journey to nowhere, but somehow managing to pop bottles of champagne every other Friday night. This is the world where things imagined become a reality and reality too unreal become true. It’s the place you are guaranteed to find many who let other people’s social media content control them, “creating jealous behavior over illusions… people have become envious of things, relationships described with hashtags; #RealtionshipGoals #BaeIsLife while living lifestyles that don’t exist…”#MiamiTodayCapeTownTomorrow #NewBusinessVenture – where people assume stalking your posts and tweets will give them an insight into your life or state of mind just by what you tweet or post, when the reality is far from what you put up; for one, a girl posts “I’m really happy and I’ve got the best man in my life” while the reality is otherwise – she is stuck with an emotionally abusive cheating partner who pays her no mind except when he asks her to get on her back. Social media has got many living their best and worst days out in the open, doing so with little or no boundaries, unconsciously leaving our prints in the sand – where we go, what we do and even what we eat, but somehow, it still finds ways to make us feel invisible. Tracking people is a stroll in the park, with every single one of us only a click away. Everything is out here, but we manage to miss out on small and big things because it’s all happening at the speed of light. This is where everything lives; the good, the bad, the ugly and certainly the hilarious.
Life, both real and fictional live here – we are all living it up; from facebook to badoo, to twitter, now its IG, snapchat and only God knows what else is next. We see liars and monsters created out of many, and others guilty of creating illusions and false lives. Everyone so obsessed with the allure and race to go lower, dirtier, limitless, louder, colourful and more outrageous. We post and plaster both the sacred and shameful – from made for blockbuster movie marriage proposals, outright white lies, to after sex photos, private parts, flashing titties (boobs), to bouncing backsides whining and twerking to Rihanna’s ‘work, work, work, anthem, at the same time, managing to pull out babies from vaginas of all shapes and sizes. Now that content is king, you have to agree with me, we are a generation of great imagination and creativity… Lol.
Our lives now make for a free-for-all entertaining TV show, giving joy to many of us as we go along in the savage act of consuming and dissecting other people’s lives. Everyday we are given free movie passes into the lives of some of the most audacious people. I may be bothered by much of what I see and read but I will be a pathetic liar if I said I didn’t get entertained. I am not one to deny you the fortune of following your life like a cheaply made reality TV show; so please don’t judge me for enjoying it a little too much. It is also not my cup of tea to worry about your state of mind – callous as that might sound, its God’s honest truth, I couldn’t care much. From where I stand, this is you choosing to take me on a journey of your life. Oh yes! The moment you hit that green button approving my request to follow you? You have extended an indirect invitation to me, asking me to be a part of your ‘living my life party’.
Out here my friends and I try to keep it fun and light on social media (I suspect ours stems from a lack of adventure as a group of 30-something year olds with very boring lives, trying to navigate everyday living and surviving), logging on intermittently into IG and twitter, trading posts and links of those who are more willing to put their very interesting lives out there for our viewing pleasure. From where I stand, its either people have become remarkably bold, too carefree, too careless or we are just people suffering from an extreme case of ‘unhinged honesty’, but as we know, man is complex and sometimes narcissistic in nature. ‘So on many of our boring lunch breaks and early morning banters, my sister-friends and I convene on Instagram through DMs and blackberry to discuss and dissect some very crazy, disturbing and hilarious things on social media. What we are while ‘stalking’ (for lack of a better word) is sensible enough not to desecrate anyone’s page with disparaging hurtful comments, no one has the right to attack another over what they share, yet this foolishness prevails. For the most part of our trolling (again, for lack of a better word), we laugh and see the humour, and sometimes we see the occasional horror called social media.
I’m sure many will agree with me there is too much inappropriate behavior in these streets; TMI (too much information). Very little is sacred or private; special days turned to posts for views. If the marriage proposals don’t get you – I mean the well rehearsed and well staged ones with a helicopter flying the ‘she said yes’ banner, then the nudity in the name of celebrating the human body or art as they call it, will get you. In the event those aren’t captivating enough, you should explore social media baby deliveries. People are not just having cameras in the delivery room but taking it a notch further, by sharing on instagram, with millions of people liking, viewing and even reposting; a video of a baby being yanked out of your ‘pretty secret place’ is just way too much for me. Along the way, they somehow manage to make up for the outrageousness with the hastags, many of which leave me in stitches – #TeamNaturalBirth #GodsGift #KingWoman #WomanOfValour #TeamWoman #TeamMothers #BirthingThings #SlayingInTheLabourRoom #LabourRoomChronicles, oh and I almost forgot, #BirthingTheFuture, (as you are now Ciara’s little sister, set to birth a new ‘future’, abi? Continue). To what end? So I’ve got to ask again, “what the f@#k is going on?!” Celebrating life or going for the shock value? In a world of social media crazy, the labour room chronicles rates high on the scale of madness, for me at least.
Let’s also give it up for the social media wars; where little squabbles suddenly turn into all-out wars; arguments have become so serious with unprecedented ridiculousness. People no longer know how to argue or disagree, everything suddenly turned into major national incidents. Gone are the days of malice keeping; fallouts are now allowed to soar like an eagle given wings to fly as things quickly spin out of control. At the slightest provocation, adults result to behaving poorly; people dragging each other’s ancestors, coming after each other’s future lineage. Gone are the days of long hisses, eyeballing and eye rolling –what even happened to trading a few slaps and calling it a day? Hell no, not with social media; these days? Everyone has a degree in giving lessons in ‘dragging and that whole ‘if I don’t send for you don’t come for me movement’… sigh… and it doesn’t end there. We now go harder for effect, where hundreds of people are required to be part of the foolishness and hoodrat behaviour. Followers taking sides as they urge each of the warring parties to dig deeper and go lower, forming groups to fan the flames of social media foolishness, while forgetting that absolute ratchetness on social media is always documented in links and munched screens (all thanks to the brilliant minds who invented screen grabbers…hahahaha), creating further online amusement for the rest of us.
We can’t ignore those who live their relationships out in the full glare of the public of social media space; they obviously missed the ‘Be like Emily’ class’, documenting the highs and lows of their relationships; one minute they’re on a love high, the next its all broken heartedness and hate. A few make the best of it, riding on the coattail of their love misfortune to whatever level they can, quickly becoming motivational speakers and love therapists. Oh and what about the ridiculously hilarious and classless over sharers? Who post pictures of themselves on toilet seats and dirty bathrooms; let’s not forget the liars and ‘claimants’ who walk by nice looking houses, take a picture, post and hashtag #DaddysMansion #MyFathersHouse, only to have the kids of the real home owners run them off social media. (Lmaoo…. I can’t with my generation). This group brings a new definition to the term ‘delusions of grandeur’. And while we’re at it, we can’t pretend not to have noticed the show-offs engaged in bragging contests; from posting luxury goods, wardrobes, designer handbags to the travel passports and boarding passes- all nicely laid out and photographed in perfect precision. Can someone please tell me, when did we get here? Mind you, there isn’t the smallest dose of hate in my tea; I’m simply calling this foolishness for what it is, ‘TASTELESS’. Even amongst those supposedly accustomed to wealth and luxury- kids of the super rich, the self made guy, artistes, and the regular Joe who can’t believe his luck at being given a 2-year American visa; everyone is seemingly guilty of this cheap shot at promoting wealth and the good life; opening the floodgates to those who have too much on their hands but with very little to do- people with no sunshine and very little joy in their lives. This new high has given voice to bullies; people with nothing positive to contribute, but troll and attack people who are trying to find their happy place.
Pictures and videos are many times quoted out of context, changing the narrative of a situation, allowing people with barely functioning level of intelligence to draw their own conclusions – good or bad, it longer matters the moment it hits planet social media. So what if I don’t think presenter ‘Delilah’ is a good enough presenter? What I won’t do is go on her page and call her vile names or ask her to go find her true calling. It’s not only ridiculous; it’s mean spirited and stinks of jealousy. So in the spirit of easy, breezy and beautiful, let’s do away with the trash talk and make it a happy place we all can escape to.
Off to make myself a nice cup of tea as I log on to Instagram for my nighttime dose of shock and laughs…
Peace, Love ‘n’ Light